still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
