My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
