In the future we'll all be gay
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Randomize
