it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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