Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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