Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
