i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
