Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
