They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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