There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
