Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize