That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
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Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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