PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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