I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
