You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
