i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
