I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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