somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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