I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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