FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
