think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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