I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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