My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize