I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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