You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize