i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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