Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
