were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
