we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
