the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
