i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
