I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
