i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need moral support for this bender
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
