its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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