R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
