And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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