I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
