I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
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I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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