Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
