Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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