You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
