Michael Bay diarrhea
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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