Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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