Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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