lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
