I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pee around me
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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