Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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