1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
