Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
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Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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