i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
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Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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