Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
pray to the hookup gods
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
