After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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