you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
