you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
