If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
