that's an acceptable place to lick
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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