Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
