"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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