And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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