So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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