Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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