when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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