she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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