I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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