Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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