): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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