Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
